A Decade in Review

People are doing decade reviews on Facebook.  I would like to.  I would like to say, "A decade ago, I knew my husband of less than a year was hooking up with men on Craigslist, and I chose to believe when he lied and said he wasn't.  In 2012, I put together all of the pieces and discovered he was hooking up with men on Craigslist, hiring hookers and continued to lie about it, even after he was caught.  I decided to stay with him.  I waited two years more, during which time nothing changed.  I separated from him, he got fired, turned suicidal, got committed and moved back in with his parents where he's been basically ever since.  We got divorced in 2016 and I picked up five jobs, eventually moving to New York City in 2017 because I couldn't stand to live in Des Moines with its tiny, in-bred, petty little theatre community anymore.  In New York, I worked another five jobs and met the second relationship I've ever had.  We moved to Denver, where the relationship promptly fizzled out because I am so inherently unlikable that I can't actually be tolerated for more than a year unless you've got no other friends because I am such a fucking doormat.  Although, he actually cheated on me after two months, so I really should have just left him then.  And now I'm living in Denver starting a second job.  I bought an amazing vibrator and I never, ever, ever need to have sex with a human ever again." 

That's what I would like to say, to see the reactions of the people who think they know me except that they would not be able to handle any of this.  Because I am either so incredibly pure and sheltered that nothing could possibly happen to me, or because I'm such a bitch that they would be glad to hear it.  I don't have friends.  I know people who find me useful.  And the friends I do have, I'll probably never see any of them ever again. 

I wonder how long you can last with minimal human interaction?  Probably a long and horrifying time if you work in customer service.  I am tired of customer service.  I am tired of giving myself to humans who don't deserve me.  People I'm smarter than.  Better than.  I am tired of solving everyone else's problems.  I clearly can't solve my own.  Well, fuck it, I don't want to.  I'm very comfortable being an arrogant pain-in-the-ass with no friends.