I hate screwing up public transportation. Hate it. I have no one to blame but my own inability to read and follow instructions and, generally, I believe I'm pretty good at that. So when I get lost in a train station I've been in before, going a way I have gone before, I hate myself for it.
And a little mistake becomes a big one quickly. Ride one stop too far and you can't always get back. Walk three blocks in the wrong direction when you're tired and you're twice as exhausted. And you can't just give up and decide you live here now, because it doesn't work that way, you have to keep going, you have to figure it out. And when you already feel like you've lost the public transportation game, and it's only going to be harder now you've started losing...
I'm trying to move. In two trips this time because I can't carry it all alone. I have to be at work at 1pm. I started this journey at 9:30 and am not half done. I will not be making it to work on time. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. But I will do it anyway because I don't have any other options.
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