I'm not feeling extraordinarily competent in any area of my life at the moment.
I work a job where I don't get paid enough to live. Said job contributes little to the world and, who knows, may not ever actually exist ever again. I've got no motivation or interest in anything. Maybe I used to write things? A few months ago I could at least read.
My knowledge base is useless. I have no real job skills. I have very little worth as a person. There are useless people. It's a fantasy to pretend anything else, and I'm one of them.
If the federal supplement to unemployment isn't extended and work doesn't re-open (which, frankly, I don't want it to), I should probably start looking for work. What work? I don't know. I don't even want to go back to my actual job.
My savings will be gone in 4 months, without the unemployment supplement. This is not going to get better.
People on Twitter are all simultaneously posting photos of them visiting family and friends and going, "I don't feel like celebrating," well, then, what the fuck are you doing in somebody else's backyard during a motherfucking pandemic? Clearly you're doing something I have no capacity to do.
I tried to escape and go camping earlier this week and was foiled at that plan because of course, what have I managed to do right in the last year? So I spent more money for fewer days and reserved a camp site. Maybe I'll get eaten by a bear.
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