The new schedule is totally screwing with my ability to maintain a schedule.
I want to disappear over Christmas. I'm torn between a desire to just stay in bed with the dog and to run away.
How do people do it? Presumably they don't do it alone.
Which is a dumb thing to say because this is the exact same time every year that I determine I can't cope and I want a stage manager to run my life. Which of course indicates that if I want an impartial task master to get shit done, that person is me and I need to stop being so neurotic about it.
I'm going to lose a friend this year. She wants me to direct a piece she's animating. She and I have done group projects in school, but never for school. She's many things, sensitive and smart and very very concerned with doing things right, well, and on time. I get along very well with people who also have time management problems. And I know she has a benevolent need to do me a favor, so she wants to pay me.
I've known her since I was 12, and I know we've had at least four major disagreements I didn't know were happening until she decided I hated her. It's worrying. That's more arguments than I've ever had with anyone other than a family member or authority figure.
Christmas is next week. I keep trying not to pay attention. I keep seeing Facebook posts from friends who aren't feeling Christmasy because it's a temperate climate and this year it's been 50 degrees. They have no idea how Christmasy it is. I'm dying on the hill in the War on Christmas at work.
I don't really care, but I decided I wasn't going to be bullied in to it through guilt, etc just to put that out there as a personality trait, because it exists.
And maybe I'll survive through the year.
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