This post will probably be added to the pile of unpublished, abandoned, half-finished drafts. Or maybe it won't be.
My world got too big for the Internet and I filled page after page after digital page of the private journal with words that reveal much better than this ever will how wildly I was off balance. And the unposted posts do the same, glimpses of a girl who was worried about something that didn't even matter two days later. So much has changed that none of it matters now.
How odd there's very little to show for it.
Who am I this time around? I have a new name and an ex-husband, at last. Or rather, I regained the old name and have mostly only used it when I'm busy being someone I'm not quite. Sorting out Who I Am is a project that takes a backseat to sorting out What I'm Doing. Which is probably how it ought to work.
I have seen three of the Great Lakes in the span of three days. Having seen Lake Michigan a handful of times already, this leaves only Superior. At 16, I saw the Atlantic ocean from the air. I ferried across the English Channel. I've seen so little of the world since, it's nice to be 16 again and to go and see it.
All I can be certain of is that I'm uncertain what's coming next. I have to be OK with that, because I certainly don't like where I am.
Subatomic particles don't exist until they interact. I'm not sure what a subatomic particle IS before it interacts, but I have a pretty good idea how it feels.
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