I've got to stop letting other people screw with my self worth.
Well, one other person, anyway. Now that I can see exactly what he's doing, I recognise everything I ignored, everything I didn't see. I still have to live here with him and I get to watch my past self's ignorance. I wonder about the person who didn’t know, who still loved him and wondered what she was doing wrong, and I kind of hate her for trusting someone who didn't deserve it.
More than that, I hate to discover he has the power to make me feel worthless. What was I that he decided it would be OK to sleep with other people? I guess I never get an answer to that.
"What are you looking forward to?"
Next winter, when I work with the high school kids again. I've been doing it long enough to know I'm valuable. It's been nice to be around people my own age. 43 kids on a charter bus and it's the four grownups in the front seat making more noise than the entire rest of the bus.
Closer than that? All I have are hopes. I hope I can get divorced soon. I hope I get transportation soon. Those two are related and entirely out of my control.
No comments:
Post a Comment