Ghost-Kin?

I've been reading about body acceptance. 

I think one of the problems I personally have to overcome with Other-Kin is that my personal point of view is, "Nope, you don't have a tail that no one else can see.  You are not a wolf.  This is what you've got, you're stuck with it just like the rest of us."  Because I've never thought that I had body image issues, I accept that this is what I have to work with, but I didn't think it was necessary that you had to like it. 

That's not to say that I despise people who do feel that way, I just don't quite understand the motivation.  Since I was a little kid, I've occasionally, fervently, wished I'd been born a boy.  I never thought that I actually *was* one, just that if I had been, I would've gotten the better deal.  I still kind of think that, but I don't want to be a guy, I just have days where I really don't want to be a girl. 

It's also fair to say that I have a physical body, but I don't inhabit it.  It's mostly beyond my control and ability to work with, so I don't worry about it.  I don't like it, but I don't spend a lot of time hating myself or wishing I was different.  This is, apparently, Not the Way It's Supposed to Be. 

I frequently joke that I'm a brain in a jar, and said to a friend recently, "That's not a joke, I think I'd be better off.  That's either a total lack of body problems or an unprecedented amount." 
He kind of thought that maybe it was an unprecedented amount.  But the thing is, I don't care.  I don't (apart from this) spend an abnormal amount of time obsessing over the way I do or don't look, I look the way I look, and the way I look is not great, but there's nothing to be done about it, so, it is what it is.  If I could swap it out, I totally would, but that's not going to happen, so, here I am.

This is what I mean when I say I'm not a physical person.  I know what I'm comfortable with and what I'm not and it has nothing to do with anybody else and everything to do with me. 

I listened to a kid give a speech last month where she claimed that *everyone* dances when they're alone.  Oh, sweetie.  No, no they don't.  Because I don't. 

I took gymnastics, and I was terrible at it.  I liked doing it, and I didn't care that I was terrible at it.  When I stopped going, it was because I was too busy. 

I have poor hand-eye coordination.  I catch with my face and can't throw.  People have tried to teach me and failed. 

This is me.  If I wanted to do something about it, maybe I would, but I don't really want to, because that's more work.  It's not my priority to become that person. 

But I read about loving your body, and how you're supposed to want to wear clothes I don't want to wear, and dance and that's not me.  So I wonder, is this the same thing, or a different thing?  Should everybody WANT to go skydiving?  Or is it maybe as normal to want to go skydiving as not? 

"Women have something they want to change."  No.  I don't think I'd be "better" if I had a different body, I don't think a full swap for another body would do me anything different.  I do sort of think I'd be better if I didn't have one at all, if I existed as a series of words on a page, created and processed as quickly as my brain could spit them out.  *That* would be me, that's what I'd swap for if I could.  The rest of this is just a thing. 

Maybe it's because I was so into ghosts as a kid, the idea that your body and whatever a ghost was were two different things, and the body's the part that winds up in the ground and the ghost is the thing that is capable of making the body live.  So maybe I don't want to be a brain, maybe I'd just as soon be a ghost?  Or, maybe it's the way I reason with the reality of life, the body is the thing that's going to die, and whatever happens afterwards, you've got this other thing?  So, maybe don't get too attached to the body part? 

I don't know.  I hadn't considered the ghost option before.  Well, whatever it is, I have to go clean it and dress it so it can take whatever I am to work in the conventional method.