A Request

Men, could you do me a favour and embrace dress wearing? Not just the kilt, but if more of you dudes were secure in your masculinity and just wore dresses for... I dunno, whatever the reasons people who enjoy wearing dresses wear them, my non-dress-wearing ass would appreciate it.

Let's be clear, I wear dresses the same way I wear masks right now, to subscribe to whatever social code dictates they be worn. But lately the dresses have been feeling like a required symbol of being female. I am absolutely a straight chick, I'm very, very both of those things, but I have no interest in feminine presentation, and I'm tired of feeling like, "Oh, if you like dresses, make-up, flowers, princesses, that makes you a GIRL." Because, fuck, what the hell am I, then? A deeply closeted gay guy with extremely problematic genitalia? I was reading about this mother whose 5 year old grew up with cars and princesses and suddenly announced one day a desire to be a girl. Mom's next sentence after this was, "We immediately drove to the store to shop for dresses." So, OK, maybe they had a conversation about, "How would you like to express that you want to be a girl?" But she doesn't say that. She equivocates being a girl with time to go dress shopping. I wore a LOT of dresses and skirts as a kid. A lot. And eventually I managed to get away with not wearing them except for formal occasions. I wore a dress for my wedding because it felt like a requirement. Hell, the entire wedding felt like a requirement, so, OK, fine, I will play but on my terms as much as possible. My most recent ex really needed me to have a dress. I own two as a result of this. I've worn one of them once. The other one, actually bought for a work event where it was going to be required until it was cancelled, still hasn't been worn. I almost want to take them and drop them off and tell him to give them to his current girlfriend, but I have a feeling they'd be too big for her. So, yes, is this a factor in my current discomfort? Yep, just add it on the pile with everything else I hate about myself, about every other instance where I don't measure up and can't measure up to expectations I don't even really feel the need to meet except that clearly who I am is a problem for a lot of people. If that 5 year old needs to wear dresses to feel OK, cool, great, I don't care. But I do wonder if, hey, maybe that 5 year old can just be a boy who wears dresses.

So, dudes who wanna feel pretty, please embrace those dresses for me, OK?