And I got given a bunch of questions that I can't really answer. "What would you do if you had a billion dollars?" I would pay off all the things I need to pay off, hand a chunk of money over to friends so they could pay things off and do theatre, then I would disappear for a few years. When I got bored of the world, I'd come back to the theatre and do that until I got too old to be relevant.
Which is wholly implausible and doesn't help me in the short term.
But, it does address the problem succinctly. I've got two warring impulses right now, and I don't see a way for either of them to be sustainable. I want to be here, and everywhere. I want to go away and still be able to come back again, and right now I can't do either.
I took the chance to live here when I had it. It's not a chance I'll get again, so I want to keep it.
Hmmmm.
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